Live Your Life By Design

I live in the US. I’ve lived in different states and different cities. I recognized, even subconsciously at the time, how each environment gave off a different vibe. Energy was a constant but by no means the same. As I have gotten older, I recognize the importance of my environment and how it has a direct correlation to my overall well being. Jim Bunch, a well known motivational speaker and best seller says we should “live our life by design”. He says our environment, the things we surround ourselves with, either INSPIRE us or EXPIRE us. In other words, are you surrounded with things and people that inspire you to do better or that drain the life out of you leaving nothing to offer but dread and despair and even anger? We think we KNOW this, but do we really? To the point we are so absolutely in need of an environment that inspires us, we are willing to uproot our lives for it?

Having been in the beauty industry and talking with women and girlfriends over the years (and believe me, women talk to their hairdressers about literally everything!), I have heard a lot about why women stay in unhealthy environments. One friend in particular comes to mind. Her spouse of 25 years is a narcissist and she is codependent (I'm not judging, I'm just observing). I asked her why she doesn’t leave? He has all the money and she has no access to it. She can only access her own funds (imagine how much that would be making $10/hour). She was a stay at home mom for many years and worked remedial jobs so she had some cash on hand. He makes all the decisions, has lots of money in the bank, buys and sells homes, cars, boats etc and she has nothing. Not even the clothes on her back unless she earns the money to buy them. So, I asked her, “What are you doing here?” Do you know what she said? You might. Maybe this person represents you. Maybe you had abuse and trauma and it is all you know. Maybe you had a loving family but never learned you'r worth. Maybe your father left at an early age or maybe you never even met him. She said “I’m not leaving this life for a life I don’t know. At least I know this life.” I get it. Change and the unknown is scary. But to me, it was way worse living in my pain than the fear of change. You see, the change and the fear of the unknown was easier to manage than the current pain and suffering I was in.

So, you might ask, what exactly does your environment include? According to Jim Bunch, we are surrounded by our selves (core values, strengths etc), our spiritual beliefs, nature, the physical stuff around us, our network, our relationships, our finances and our body or overall health. When I began to look at my environment, I started with areas I could control that made an immediate impact on my life. Nature and finances. I sold the big dream house that was draining my finances, time and physical energy and downsized near the beach in a small home that I was able to pay off. It may seem huge to you, but I was so ready and had been dreaming of it for some time. I can tell you, for me, living on the water brings the most peace I have ever had in my life. I am now meditating daily (spiritual), I am walking the beach daily (Body), I have formed new friendships, I have created new relationships and I am now meeting (networking) with new professionals as I am pursuing a new career. It was a snowball effect for me. All I needed to do was step out and make one change, the rest took care of itself.

I encourage you to check your surroundings. Spend some quiet time with yourself and ask the tough questions. Honestly, they are not that tough if you’re miserable or even less than happy. To those that have abuse in their past like myself, I encourage you that you are on the healing path. You're here reading this. You are seeking. You are listening to those around you, and you are getting the awareness that you need. Trust me, once you are aware of the dysfunction and the misery, you won’t ever look back. It’s a process. Be easy on you. Start by spending time with you, it’s worth it. I love you , you need to love you, and I’ll be here through the process if you need me. Choose to live your life by design, not by default. It will be your best life ever!